Things get Real...Quick.

When I look back over the past year -- essentially just the past 7-ish months, it's almost unbelievable how quickly things have moved.

This time last year, my oldest was playing on a U14 bantam hockey team with local kids.

High end team, for sure, but a pretty typical youth hockey experience, all around.

No one was from the same town we're from, but they'd all played for one of a handful of programs coming up.

While they didn't all know one another directly, the number of mutual connections was high.

Tons of common ground.

The pedal went to the medal, for us, when Duncan attended that NAHL Combine back in the Spring.

We chose to attend one outside our geographical area so as to NOT go in with a bunch of the regulars.

That was a calculated move.

We attended one in New Jersey instead of the Massachusetts one that was a little closer to home (in Connecticut).

For readers in the Atlantic or New England region -- the Massachusetts combine attendees were mostly kids that played in the EHF, E9, and BHL.

The New Jersey combine was mostly THF and AYHL players. A notable number of AHF kids in the mix too.

Living right between the two "regions" and having moved programs a few times, my kids have played in both USA Hockey Districts over the years.

Technically there are three districts -- Massachusetts, New England, and Atlantic. New York has its own district too but most of their top programs play in Atlantic based leagues... USA Hockey has botched things so badly in this respect...

Anyway, I've said before that my oldest has like one degree of separation from every player on the east coast of the United States within a 3- or 4-year age range.

That was mostly a result of participating in those Brick series events as a mite and squirt.

From there, it just widened by playing for programs that played in multiple leagues and faced teams from Maine to North Carolina.

Skilled players rise to the top and there's an absolute funnel of talent that occurs.

Before long, familiar faces are in every single building you have a road game in.

Big tournaments like the Chowder Cup -- I'd say there were 50+ former teammates or training partners dotting those rosters.

And, in all cases, they were the usual suspects.

That's the funnel at work.

So, like, had we attended the Massachusetts based combine, he'd have been familiar with probably 25% of the players there and likely played against over 75% of them.

Heading to New Jersey instead, it was maybe a 10% / 50% ratio.

I don't know about your kid -- but when playing for "himself" in evaluation settings like that, my kid tends to perform better when he doesn't pigeon himself into a role based on the "knowns" around him.

"Oh, Marty is here. He was better than me on that tournament team 4 years ago -- I'll swing the rock over to him every time I get it..."

Kids do that. They absolutely do.

I don't think it's a conscious decision on their part...more like a subconscious choice that just happens based on their ingrained historical experiences or habits.

"Marty is really good" versus "Marty used to be really good."

It's a weird dynamic where my kids have the self-confidence to walk into a locker room of strangers but if there's one kid on the ice that they "think" is better than them, they fall in line.

There's a place for that -- knowing your role -- absolutely, so I'm thankful they have that ability to self-assess the fly...but it's not a great trait to have in settings where you're being evaluated individually.

Hockey parenting tip -- it's a good idea to change programs if you ever notice that your player has accepted a role below another player that's already peaked or in the midst of a long-term development plateau.

It becomes glaringly obvious midway through peewee hockey, I'd say.

The depth chart in youth hockey should never be set in concrete which is a blinding flash of the obvious...but it's also one of those things you should say out loud every now and then cause no one ever seems to mention it.

Squirt teams do not have third or fouth lines.

Read that last line again.

Twice.

And if you're on a team where the top line has been together since mite hockey...and mite hockey wasn't last season...yeah, I'd get out. Even if your kid is on the top line!?

Change of scenery in that type of situation often results in super fast growth.

So, knowing Marty would probably be at the Massachusetts event...New Jersey was the wiser choice for us.

Like I said, calculated.

I will always advise making educated decisions on behalf of your children.

Don't roll the red carpet out for them or be a steamroller parent but do put them in a position to succeed.

Anyway, Duncan got tagged by a scouting bureau as a standout at that NJ event, to our pleasant surprise, and it's all been moving really quickly since then.

Made the U15 team he was aiming for and was subsequently bumped to a U16 roster within a week or two to fill in for some injured players...

And that's where another booster rocket fired after a week or two of adjusting to the pace.

Hasn't looked back since.

Actually, I don't think the pace of play had much of an effect on him...it was more the mindset and environment upgrade.

Euros on his team.

Euros on other teams.

Entire of squads on the opposing benches not speaking English.

That's...a change.

Six months prior, it was a bunch of kids from within a 60-mile radius that all use the same regional slang with a bunch of players mixed in that were committed hockey players but also dabbled in other sports at a high level.

Now?

His primary d-partners this season have been from Czechia and Slovakia.

One of the goalies is from Lithuania.

Prior to this, my kid was the "exotic" one cause he had Canadian citizenship. That's not even notable on rosters at this level.

Other players on the team have been selected in drafts or received tenders from junior teams.

Kids on opposing teams are guys he's heard of or read about on Neutral Zone or on those Instagram accounts that feature crazy hockey midget and junior highlights.

Like, these players have goals. Hockey goals.

He looks to the left, he looks to the right...and is kind of in shock he gets to play with these guys.

Zero shortage of players to learn from and look up to...and you're in their midst five days per week.

It all starts to feel very real!

Not youth hockey anymore!

Like, sure, they're just 16-year-olds (and a few 15-year-olds) but this is like an NHL roster. And it happened so fast.

I look at all of the families that have 13- or 14-year-olds, just coasting along in youth hockey and I'm not sure they realize how close they are to it all getting so different.

Like, in just a matter of months, we basically went from being a bunch of parents just driving kids to the rink to play the team from a few towns over to a routine scenario where one team is showing up in a custom wrapped charter bus.

Legit off ice workouts, gym time, personal trainers, showers, healthy scratches, players in no-contact jerseys, billets, pro players dropping in for practices and scrimmages, a general manager, you name it.

It's darn close to a professional experience.

Not sure where the next few months or years will take him on this hockey journey -- he's more focused on moving upward than ever now that it no longers feels like a pipe dream -- but I wanted to direct this more to the bantam parents out there.

I've said many times that the age of 13 and 14 is where decisions need to be made.

You need to line your kid up then...for the path they'll take at 15, 16, 17 and onward.

The path splits at bantam. It really does.

Youth hockey is coming to a close and you need to figure out what your player's plan is -- high school, prep school, juniors, a different sport, etc.

And, like, from that stage -- the pathways don't really intersect at all outside of "off the record" scrimmages.

Be prepared to make that choice.

Youth hockey goes quick.

Post-bantam, it goes even faster.

Agree? Disagree? Let me know -- I love the feedback from all angles!

Chris Rutsch

Hockey Dad

Year round, I spend a significant amount of time and money transporting my three boys to and from freezing cold ice rinks. Not because I expect them to make it to the NHL but because I know the rigorous youth hockey experience will serve them well in the future.