Cuts, Bruises, Knees, and Collar Bones

I've been really fortunate in that none of my kids have really sustained any kind of major injury over their nearly 1500 games so far.

Excluding a nagging knee injury -- 5+ months of prepatellar bursitis after colliding with a teammate, ugh -- mostly just bruises.

And a split chin...that we've dubbed the "chinjury" in our house.

Neat scar from that one.

Oh, and that ear that exploded too...but that's it.

All told, one game missed due to injury.

We've witnessed a couple gruesome broken legs. Lots of messed up wrists. A nasty broken jaw in warm-ups once too.

And nearly a handful, now, of kids knocked out cold.

As young as 12 years old.

Twelve. A sixth grader.

Lying on the ice. Motionless.

And not the type that's just seeking "look at me" attention.

Flat on their back, arms awkwardly rigid in a praying mantis type formation, eyes wide open, and twitching every few seconds.

Show of hands of who's comfortable putting their kids out in an environment like that?

Empathy, empathy, empathy.

Something I've found lacking in so many hockey parents.

I already dread the day I witness a paralysis, in person.

Of late, for my older boys, collar bones seem to be the most common injury...and, in my opinion, the most avertible.

And that's the part that upsets me most.

Sure, sure, collar bones are a weak point and if you don't position yourself appropriately to absorb contact...you run the risk of getting crunched in a vulnerable position.

We did the checking clinics the summer before bantam started, yeah, yeah, blah, blah, blah...

But here's the thing...every single broken collar bone I've witnessed has come from a hit that was totally unnecessary.

Every single one.

No puck in the vicinity -- just a kid taking a run at a player that, in some instances, wasn't expecting to get hit because, well, they didn't have the puck and weren't actually part of the play.

We've had two teammates have hockey end for them, at 15 and 16, on the most unnecessary hits.

Opponent got 2 minutes in the penalty box. Injured player had an unexpected hospital visit and an already-paid-for hockey season ended.

For one kid, it was in August. He came back to play maybe 3 games on a lower team before the season ended...and it was all over. Hung 'em up after the season.

A single, behind the play, hit in a meaningless summer tournament game ended hockey for him. Tough guy parents -- that could happen to your kid.

I'm not going to say they were cheap shots...but definitely late and definitely excessive.

Totally unneccessary too...with zero impact on the play.

Now, I had a video of my son's knee getting targeted go semi-viral with over 200k views a couple of seasons ago as it made the rounds in referee forums all over the world.

Soooooo many comments ranging from "match penalty" to "kid had his head down -- clean hit".

And, sure, there's some grey area when it comes to penalties, it's subjective, but the grey area is never truly that wide.

People on the internet are morons.

I recognize the irony in that statement.

And I'll die on this hill...but anyone purposefully aiming to hurt another person -- and the parents and/or coaches that encourage it -- are trash.

That's not athletic competition. That's assault.

And for anyone still thinking -- "hey, kid must not be tough enough" or whatever...I'm pretty confident collar bones have never been utilized as a measurement of toughness.

And, blinding flash of the obvious, but targeting the most vulnerable spots on a player doesn't make you tough either.

It's kind of lame, actually. Right up there with bending fingers backwards or eye gouging.

The rise of the reverse hit over the past few seasons is especially troubling.

I mean, sure, the reverse hit is technically within the rules, loosely considered a "puck battle".

In some instances, I'd agree with that wholeheartedly...but I think it's crossed the line over into interference nearly 90% of the time now.

Defenseman slamming on the brakes, lowering the shoulder, and driving upward back into a forechecker...is interference.

They're impeding, err, attempting to lay out a player that doesn't have possession of the puck...while they, themselves, aren't showing any inclination in playing the puck either.

It's an open ice hit where the receiver isn't in possession of the puck. That's, uh, a penalty. For interference.

But, aside from that, it's doling out punishment for the sake of doling out punishment.

Don't give me the canned "that's hockey, your kid is a pussy" defense...

The reverse hit trend is NEW over the past 3-4 years. Kids aren't playing the puck.

What you're seeking is pro wrestling, you know, with eye gouging antics. (By the way, it's fake.)

I'd prefer actual hockey every single day.

My kids don't "reverse" hit. They know it's a dick move.

And it doesn't lead you up the ladder -- which is what all of the seriously hockey players are actually seeking.

Also, enough with the revisionist history. Sit down and watch an entire NHL game from the late 1970's or early 80's.

I love hockey -- that's "my" era but I'm not afraid to say it's wet garbage in comparison to a high end peewee game today.

Be honest with yourself. Seriously, watch a random NHL game -- not the Islanders or the Oilers -- from the early 80's. You'll see.

Incidental contact happens in sports. Accidents happen.

But then there always seem to be Matt Cooke and Radko Gudas type players involved...

Why is it always the same players injuring people?

Is that still incidental contact? Or is it assault?

Sorry, 13 year olds getting knocked out cold shouldn't happen with any sort of frequency in meaningless round robin games between two teams already eliminated from moving on.

Same kid sticking the leg out for knee contact repeatedly in a single game? And every game? Against every opponent?

Ever notice on your own team that it's always the same kid getting game misconducts for kneeing?

That's not an issue with the sport -- that's a parent/coach issue.

It's never an isolated occurrence.

Never once has it been, "Wow, I've never seen Paul hit someone like that..."

It's always more of a "Well, saw that one coming" or "Ugh, not again..."

It's...predictable.

And though people forget -- the NHL changed the rules because of Matt Cooke... Multiple times. Look it up.

That aside, youth hockey and the NHL are not the same ... so it shouldn't matter ... but so many parents and coaches regard them as one in the same.

I know the words "hockey" and "compassion" don't really go hand-in-hand in the athletic lexicon.

One pretends to be all tough (and we're talking about YOUTH hockey, which, sorry to disappoint is NOT tough?!) and the other, well, sounds wimpier than uttering the phrase "good sportsmanship"...

It's an oft-ignored side of the intersection of physical gameplay, parent dynamics, coach dynamics, and, well, being a solid member of society.

And that's sad.

I do still believe that team sports at the youth levels encourage and amplify discipline, self-motivation, and teach all kinds of valuable life skills -- my kids have absolutely benefitted from playing hockey -- but team sports also harbor and bring to the surface some really awful traits in people too.

I don't have an answer to that -- but I'm not sure any honest hockey parent can claim to NOT have noticed the semi-rotten apples really early on.

It's like it's an open secret no one talks about. Paul's gonna REALLY hurt someone one of these days.

He's dangerous.

This past weekend, I watched a player crosscheck another player right in the mouth. Not that it matters, but it was after the whistle.

Say what you want about players not wearing face protection but forcefully driving a stick into the face of another player isn't part of the game. Players shouldn't have to "expect" that to happen to them.

And as it happened, parents were cheering, bench was banging their sticks, the whole 9 yards.

Kid was bleeding all over the place.

Like, for real?

We're applauding an asshole now?

One kid is going to spend hours in a dentist's chair and thousands of dollars over the next few days...over a minor scrum along the wall...and the other just gets a 4 minute penalty.

Dude, wearing a full cage, was gleefully grinning the whole time in the penalty box over it. "I f'ing" nailed that guy!"

And that's justice? To be applauded?

Um...okay.

Who teaches someone to drive a stick into someone's teeth?

What kind of person is that?

Seriously, what kind of person does that?

Shoot first, ask questions later...

Saying "sorry", after the fact, doesn't cut it.

Society, these days, I guess.

As parents, we're all of a certain age, and as "hockey" parents, we all have a LOT in common.

We can opine for the days of our youth when things were regarded as more rough and tumble than they are for our own gen z and gen alpha children...but let's lay off the continued revisionist history a bit.

The "sweep the leg" and "put him in a body bag" crew were the bad guys.

And they lost.

Cause they were assholes.

Just something to think about the next time you consider praising your little warrior for hurting someone.

Oh, and another reminder...hockey 40 years ago was wet garbage, in case you forgot.

This post was kind of negative and I hate drifting in that direction so I want to highlight an awesome parent interaction we witnessed at the WSI Tournament earlier in the year.

During one of the games, in a scrum, a player from our team yanked the chain off of an opponent next during some pushing and shoving before a faceoff.

I've seen it a number of times -- kids getting their necklaces pulled off.

Thug move, all around. Not a fan.

My kids don't wear jewelry, period...but I like to think they're smart enough that, if they did suddenly decide to bling themselves out to look "pretty" or whatever, to never wear it on the ice. That part doesn't matter to the story, I'm just sayin'.

So, anyway, we advance, the opponent is eliminated, and since the teams were from all over the world, in most cases once you're in the elimination rounds, families often head directly to the airport from the arena to go home.

So our player is triumphantly proud of the chain he pulled off the kid -- you know, locker room celebration, stolen treasure, dumb macho teenager stuff -- but after the game and his parents were like, "Oh hell no", and managed to track down contact info for the opposing team and then the player that owned the chain and drove over an hour to the airport to force their son, tail between his legs, I'm sure, to return it and, I'd imagine, apologize in the process.

A+ parenting in an uncomfortable situation there.

Agree? Disagree? Let me know -- I love the feedback from all angles!

Chris Rutsch

Hockey Dad

Year round, I spend a significant amount of time and money transporting my three boys to and from freezing cold ice rinks. Not because I expect them to make it to the NHL but because I know the rigorous youth hockey experience will serve them well in the future.