Lost Touch with the Base, Anecdotes, and a Skate Tying Tip!

Lately I've been posting a lot about combines, junior hockey, exposure, and how to get scouted to be considered an eligible draft pick.

Hardly relevant stuff to a majority of hockey parents.

I have a 9 year old -- I know better.

Or I should know better.

Fact is, for his hockey path, I'm on cruise control because I've already navigated it. It's almost like I have an unfair superpower to see around the corner...

I don't really have a super power.

I'd just done this before.

Twice.

But over the past month or so, I've been put right back in my place as a n00b in other realms.

A couple of months ago, and I've alluded to this in a few other postings, my two older boys started going to a gym.

Not one of those big chains, a real gym.

They each have a personal trainer with them 100% of the time so it's not like they're just hanging out casually walking on a treadmill while staring at their phones and pretending it's a work out.

They're getting worked...hard.

I can tell because they finally walk like elite athletes while traversing stairs or getting into the car.

You can tell...everything hurts.

I love it.

Sorry, cueing up Glory Days again...back to when I struggled to make it down flights of stairs in the mid-1990's when I was, ugh, briefly, considered "elite"...

But here's the thing -- in my lifetime, I think I've spent a grand total of 30 minutes in a gym.

I've never had a personal trainer.

This is, err, was uncharted territory for all of us.

That first day, when I went in with them to meet the trainer(s) and sign them up (yeah, you got me -- those were the totality of my 30 minutes), it was a super intimidating environment.

Not because of the vibe of the gym or trainers or anything...but just because it was totally foreign territory for us and something we knew we weren't going to be very good at.

My kids were the youngest in the room by decades and, based on how HUGE the plates on the bars were, the weakest too.

Buff grandma over there could likely put my car on her back and walk it home.

Not kidding.

Odd situation for my kids too -- I've said before that they're blisslyfully unaware of how fortunate they are that they can walk into any hockey locker room full of strangers confidently knowing their skills will speak for themselves.

I can't recall an instance, on ice, where any of them were grossly out of their league.

And it's times like this, noobs at the gym, that I think they finally realize how fortunate they are at hockey, like, it really sinks in.

But, yeah, they were very clearly uncomfortable on workout day one.

Fast forward two months...and they walk in there confidently.

Well, more confidently.

Actually, they limp in like it hurts to walk...like I mentioned earlier.

Sure, that confidence is partially due to familiarity, obviously, and a huge credit goes to the trainers too for being so welcoming too...but I think most of it is just that they feel like they belong.

The other people working out there -- they know exactly what's unfolding in front of them. They're not judging these two young kids -- they're including them.

Once that starts to sink in, you're golden.

Buff grandma even told the boys she's only 22. Too funny.

The pivot moment, though, for my kids occured a few weeks in when someone new came in for a workout, their day one.

Lightbulb went on -- everyone here is on the same team.

They're no longer nervous about going to workout, they ask to go with more frequency now.

The next area of awkwardness is connected to my 15-year old.

He recently proclaimed that he's going to playing soccer next Fall for his high school.

Nothing super notable about that, on the surface, until I tell you that he hasn't played competitive soccer since he was in 3rd grade.

And by competitive soccer, I mean town rec league.

Sure, the coach back then had an amazing Welsh accent and said stuff like football, pitch, and nil...but this was real low end stuff.

The game ball frequently had a dinosaur's face printed on it.

He's been assured by his friends at school that he's got the skills to make varsity and, if I'm honest, I was kinda thinking they might be pranking him.

It's akin to asking his 9 year old brother to try out for a junior hockey team.

Talking about setting a kid up for failure by putting him in a setting that's grossly out of his league!

But he assures me that it's not a prank and he's been invited to a bunch of meetings and captains' practices.

Not sure if that's an indication of the quality of the school's soccer team or my son's overall athletic prowesss.

Probably an 80/20 combo of the two.

Not that he'd walk confidently onto the soccer field anyway, but I advised him to be extra modest.

Tread lightly.

Some of these players have likely been playing soccer exclusively since they could walk, the way you've been playing hockey, and there's nothing they'll hate more than some outsider strolling in and getting a roster spot.

So this is nothing like walking into a hockey locker room for him -- he can't fall back, worry free, on the confidence in his own ability.

This is a long shot.

Personally, I hope he makes the team...but as a seldom utilized sub so he has a better "world view" of what it's like to be on a team.

That scenario would make him a better hockey teammate.

He has leadership skills...but I'm not certain he knows how to connect really well with the bottom of the depth chart.

This could be really beneficial for him.

Wisely, though, he sought out someone like himself -- skilled and respected on the current team but also approachable -- in the soccer realm.

I don't know who this kid is, an upperclassman on the varsity soccer team, but they facetimed while Duncan was shopping for his first pair of cleats.

Now, I was in high school at one point -- it's usually not the "cool" thing to do, you know, and ask for help on something like that.

But he did.

He isolated someone that wouldn't make him feel like a fool or insignificant...and asked a genuine question.

This kid was next level too -- not a diva at all.

His follow-up to my son was, "Well, what's your budget?"

Gotta love that.

What teenager asks that?

This kid is clearly a good egg. No cap.

Nothing I hate more than a hockey parent that thinks a $400 stick is essential equipment for a mite -- and mocks other parents that don't agree.

I've heard parents mock players for having wood sticks.

I've heard parents poke fun at the players that wear bubbles.

And the kids of those parents are generally locker room nightmares.

Spoiler alert -- those families don't last long in hockey... Stick it out.

There's a difference between cheap and being practical.

Sorry, that's a tangent for another day...

So, anyway, this upperclassman helps my son pick out appropriate cleats, tells him which shinguards to get, and which ball NOT to get.

Appearance-wise, he's gonna fit in.

And that's huge.

So where am I going with all of this?

Well, I'm a new soccer parent.

I'm a new gym parent too.

But I've clearly forgotten what it's like to be a new hockey parent.

If you're anxious about going to the rink, or how your kid will be received on a team or in the locker room, or your kid is worried about any of these things, I'll tell you right now, every team has sets of players and parents that are welcoming.

They're out there. They stand out when you observe for a few minutes. And they will gladly help you or give suggestions.

I mean, I wrote a ridiculously missive on skate laces one time. Have you read my post about taping a hockey stick?

If you have a hockey question, even one you're too embarassed to ask, fire away.

Seek out a guide.

Have your kid seek out a mentor.

Like, that first older kid that acknowledges their existance or the parent that really looks like they have their stuff together -- but isn't neurotic about what their kid is doing on the ice. Steer clear of the pacers.

Even though still I can't grow a beard, I've found that the dads with longer beards tend to be the most down to earth, approachable, and helpful hockey parents.

If you're unsure of your ability to narrow in on the best option, look for that guy.

Moms in full winter attire when it's beautiful outside are also a good bet.

Point is -- the good people in the building want you there.

New teammates should always be wanted. The players that welcome them are the winners. The parents that welcome them are saints.

And, since I hate to write anecdotal articles like this that don't offer any concrete advice at all, here's a good one that I've often found myself wanting to mention to newer hockey parents but fear I might come off as an aggressive know-it-all jerk doling out unwanted advice.

Never tie your kid's skates like this:

If you're not sure what you're looking at there, it's the wrapping of the laces behind the skate.

Don't do that.

It makes skating harder.

Sure, the common thought is that the tighter they are and the more locked in the ankles are, the better...

But a "bender" is when the ankles bend inward or outward, side to side.

An outward "bend" is the most common.

To skate, though, you still want them to be able to bend forward and backward...with minimal resistance.

Locking the front of their lower shin to the back of their leg restricts that motion.

You never want to do that.

Makes bending the knees a lot harder...and an amazing knee bend is the secret to fast skating.

So if you've tying your son or daughter's skates like this, yes, some people are judging you.

Just quietly stop doing it the next time they're headed out on to the ice...and it'll be forgotten immediately.

If the laces are too long...cut them or buy shorter ones.

The wrap around the back thing is bad -- you're making the skate tight in all the wrong places.

Oh, and if your kid is like, "Hey, why isn't it wrapped around the back?" well, um, just say you read something on the internet and some guy said not to do it.

Oh, and that there isn't a single NHL player that does it either.

Here's a thought that ran across my mind as I was originally writing this post but I wasn't sure where to fit it in...or to fit it in, at all.

It's super annoying when you hear some self proclaimed youth hockey prophet say stuff like, "mite and squirt don't really matter"...when you have a mite or squirt in your household.

Or when you hear a current NHL player saying kids should play multiple sports...when, reality check, that's almost impossible by the time a kid is 12 years old if they want to excel.

And then when you look up the playing history of the NHL players saying those things and see they were billeting when they were 14 years old -- essentially full time hockey players already.

That whole, "practice what you preach" thing gets really messy at that point...

And, like, now having a player that resembles a man more than a mite in passenger seat of my car -- his 12-pack intimidates me -- I get it.

I'm 100% guilty of saying things like "goals as a mite don't matter".

I always believed that, though.

The best way to go a long way in anything is slow and steady, get better year over year. You don't want to set yourself up for decline right out of the gate.

But...at the same time...I know that when my oldest was a mite and a squirt, yeah, everything mattered.

It did.

He had to go to good camps.

He had to skate with amazing private coaches.

He had to play on top teams.

That stuff was important.

And, sure, one could argue that all of those things we did back when he was 6, 7, 8 years old are the reason he is where he is now.

And they probably are.

I've gone out of my way to give each of my kids the same opportunities -- stuff like Brick team tryouts which I know full well are a joke -- partially so I can always say, yeah, they all got the same opportunities and made what they made out of them...

But...that's not entirely true. Aside from the Brick thing -- all three had that "experience".

But my middle one has only had a fraction of the private lessons my oldest has.

My youngest barely gets them at all.

Thinking about it...I'm not sure he's ever had a one-on-one session.

Part of that is because I'm a wiser hockey parent -- I know what's a rip off and what isn't now.

Or is it because I'm one of those older hockey parents of a higher end player that's conveniently forgotten how he got there?

I think it's both.

He wouldn't be as good as he is without all of those trials and tribulations, those hits and misses, and expensive extra curricular crap I had him enrolled in.

I know that. "Natural" talent is only a slice.

At the same time, when I watch my kids side-by-side-by-side on the ice, at the rink...they're NOT the same.

Blinding flash of the obvious, right?

But, it's in those moments where it's hard to justify a one-on-one session for my youngest where he's only half engaged versus a one-on-one session for my oldest where he's all-in.

You know what I mean?

When the lesson costs the same, it's a better value to send the player that going to soak it all in.

Or is it?

My youngest has more goals than the other two, combined, did at that age.

This is the kinda stuff that keeps me up at night.

And, here's the thing... There isn't a mite or squirt out there that isn't routinely just going through the motions out on the ice 85% of the time. They all do it.

So, with that, I hope my 9-year old is ready for some one-on-ones cause, like, mite and squirt does matter!

Well, until they're 15...

Agree? Disagree? Let me know -- I love the feedback from all angles!

Chris Rutsch

Hockey Dad

Year round, I spend a significant amount of time and money transporting my three boys to and from freezing cold ice rinks. Not because I expect them to make it to the NHL but because I know the rigorous youth hockey experience will serve them well in the future.