Moving Down a Level, err, Four Levels

I like to think that I keep in touch with the lower levels of youth hockey pretty well even though my kids moved on from them over a decade ago.

My younger two boys have never actually played for a "town" level team. My oldest played a single season as a 6 year old back in 2015. Ancient history, and hardly applicable, at this point.

So, truth is, I've been little more than an outside observer for over a decade...until now.

My youngest, who has been playing for programs that dub themselves as AAA since the day he started skating, is headed for a town hockey level PeeWee B team in the fall.

You read that right -- AAA right to a B team.

If that doesn't showcase everything that's wrong with youth hockey marketing, I'm not sure what can.

Aside from that, the big thing I take from it is that I'm not repeating the crimes of other hockey parents I've met along the way.

You know, the ones that just stay on that train far too long when it's blatantly obvious their sons or daughters are grossly out of place.

Programs absolutely do "sell the dream".

Parents buy in...hard.

I'm even guilty on multiple levels of taking the bait multiple times over the years, absolutely, but I'm also pretty aware and capable of appropriately evaluating where my kids actually land in the grand scheme of things. I like to think I'm realistic.

Emmet...doesn't want it.

He's a good player when he wants to be. His puck protection can sometimes appear elite, even.

But he's an invisible player (not the good kind) when he's just going through the motions.

Point is...hockey is NOT his passion at 10 years old.

He likes it. I mean, he claims that he still wants to play.

I'm not 100% convinced that's true -- it's been a "thing" in our house since before he was born so, perhaps, in his mind, it's just something that everyone does.

But private lessons, practicing seriously at home, and games 4-5 hours from home aren't really his thing.

That's very clear.

Over the years, we've had multiple coaches interrogate the kids with the worn out and over-used query:

"Do you want to be a hockey player? Or do you want to play hockey?"

Emmet just wants to play hockey.

His committment level doesn't match his brothers'.

And so, to reassess where he wants to take all of this, in September he'll be playing for a team that only practices twice per week and only plays games within about an hour radius.

They might have a single tournament "far" away...in Rhode Island...which, for us, entails less driving than a single trip for the older boys to get to practice.

Best of all, it's less than 10 minutes from home, the rink is a balmy 60-something degrees year round, and the tuition is roughly half of what we'd grown accustomed to.

I know, I know...sub par coaching, garbage league, dead end hockey, fewer ice times, you get what you pay for, blah, blah, blah...

I mean, you've read it all here before!

I get it.

Could I have had him continue to ride his brothers' coat tails? You know, make a few calls and get him on a high end team?

Probably.

But I know through my older boys' experiences, the players that "phone in a favor" or "pay" their way onto higher end teams, sure, they're on the team but at a certain point, they need to perform. Most haven't.

My opinion, most 15 year olds know when they're a fraud.

It's a tough realization for a teenager that the dad hype machine is what landed you in the situation. Emmet's only 10 right now...but, I will never put him in that situation.

He's had the dad "reality" machine looking over his shoulder the past few years. He knows he's NOT a clone of either of this brothers.

Good and bad to that, of course.

As a hockey parent...

Am I fully supporting his hockey conquest? Not really.

Am I forcing him to do something he doesn't really want to do? Maybe.

Will I lose my mind if he's a non-factor on a B-team roster? It might take some getting used to...but I'm trying to think it won't bother me at all.

Could he even be a multiple goal per game player at this level? Perhaps. If he has the drive.

There are a lots of types of hockey parents out there...I'm trying to be two different versions on the same day...depending on which kid I'm with.

Kinda circles back to my posting about giving each of the kid's equal opportunities...which I'd been advised NOT to...and am continually migrating towards ending.

Strange days ahead...but I'm confident this is the right move for him.

I may not have believed it back when my older boys were progressing through youth hockey...but where you play peewee hockey...doesn't matter at all.

I'd been told that in advance...but can now confirm that it's 100% true based on some of the studs my older boys skate alongside.

And, closer to home, both of the older ones encountered their first "bumps in the road" at the peewee level...and both ended up switching programs in the process during those years.

So...yeah... With that, I suppose he's right on course.

Come mid-November, we'll know!

Agree? Disagree? Let me know -- I love the feedback from all angles!

Chris Rutsch

Hockey Dad

Year round, I spend a significant amount of time and money transporting my three boys to and from freezing cold ice rinks. Not because I expect them to make it to the NHL but because I know the rigorous youth hockey experience will serve them well in the future.