Skipping School for Hockey

As someone who boasted perfect attendance in high school decades ago, when that first hockey tournament for my kids rolled around with a Thursday night game followed by a 10am game on Friday, three hours from home...I was a little uneasy about how to proceed.

I mean, I've seen the t-shirts at the rink that say "School is important. Hockey is importanter." on them and, frankly, they kind of turn me off even more than seeing a 10 year old kid wearing a sweatshirt that says "I heart emoji Hockey Moms."

So, what to do?

When my oldest was in kindergarten, at the very first parent teacher conference, we were advised to possibly pursue having him move up a grade. He was beyond first grade levels in everything but stuck in kindergarten, bored out of his mind.

We looked in to having him skip a grade or two...and ultimately decided against it.

There are very few social advantages to graduating from high school before receiving your driver's license.

None, actually.

In hindsight, now that he is in high school, it was 100% the correct decision.

Zero doubt in our minds.

If you've read this site for any period of time, you also may know that he played "up" in hockey for 5 seasons.

Both of these avenues opened up at exactly the same time.

While we declined the academic "offer", we did take the athletic one.

Let me sum that up real quick...

Would not recommend.

But, the two things -- academic and athletic -- go hand-in-hand in a less linear sort of way in regards to skipping school to play in hockey tournaments or showcases.

So, Duncan had just turned 6 years old and was playing on a hockey team with 8 year olds on it.

In the ego-centric environment of youth sports, that would classify him as elite. BS term -- don't think for a moment that I'm tooting his horn.

But he was also given the opportunity to skip a grade or two meaning, in that realm, he was "gifted".

Same deal, not tooting his horn. Acadmically, he's a straight A student and still bored at school...

So while we chose the athletic opportunity and not the academic opportunity making it seem as though we valued sports more than school, I was still, absolutely, uncomfortable at the onset of missing school to play hockey.

Sure, a day of kindergarten doesn't really matter.

But neither does a mite level game -- even of the "elite" variety -- for the kid that's two years younger than everyone else. Reality of it was that he was a non-factor on his team.

But it sets a precedence if you choose one over the other.

Hockey is not importanter.

It never should be.

For the number of kids we've played with that thought they were destined to play hockey in prep school...that have now come to realize, too late, that they don't have the grades to get in to the prep schools, well...yeah.

I'd already worked in professional hockey for decades at that point and can confirm, 95% of those guys regret not taking the education side of things more seriously as their NHL aspirations began to disperse.

School matters.

Grades matter.

And, my original thought and something important to me, attendence matters too.

We voiced these concerns, in passing, to the teacher at an open house later in the school year and she hit the nail on the head with a few real-life examples.

One of the students acted in commericals and in bit parts for television shows and had auditions and shoots in New York City pretty regularly that they missed school for.

And another student was an outstanding musician and would spend half the day at a performing arts school one day per week instead of in her classroom.

No one batted an eye at that.

Those students had extraordinary talents.

"If your son is an elite athlete," she said, "it's no different."

"Go to those tournaments and showcases."

"Academically, your son isn't falling behind. Chase your interests and your talents."

And with that...I have zero issue skipping a few Fridays each school year for hockey.

She was absolutely right.

Now, there are some caveats...

If any of my kids were struggling in school, or if the PSATs were scheduled for that given day, or if they were up against that absense threshold so many schools have now, I'd think long and hard about what to do.

I'll also say, we won't miss school band concerts or art shows or things like that for hockey either.

Game, practice, it doesn't matter.

If you're playing trumpet in the school band and their holiday concert overlaps hockey...you're going to the concert.

But then, nowadays, there are tournaments and showcases for EVERY level of hockey.

You ever watch a Bantam C game at a tournament? It resembles learn to skate...with referees.

And that's where the teacher's wise reasoning falls apart.

Missing school to play in a low end game is NOT the same as missing school to play viola with Yale University's orchestra.

One is an earned opportunity that potentially leads to betterment in your trade and the other is just a schedule conflict.

For those, like my kid's holiday band concert, hockey comes second.

And it should.

So maybe don't pull them out of school.

And, as the kids get to higher and higher levels, you start to find yourself missing three or four Friday's in a row. That's...awkward.

Remember, your choices on their behalf set a precedent.

You don't ever want them thinking hockey is truly importanter...so cross your fingers for the 9:00pm game slot on Friday for one of those weeks...and send them to school, if only for half the day!

Agree? Disagree? Let me know -- I love the feedback from all angles!

Chris Rutsch

Hockey Dad

Year round, I spend a significant amount of time and money transporting my three boys to and from freezing cold ice rinks. Not because I expect them to make it to the NHL but because I know the rigorous youth hockey experience will serve them well in the future.