Hey Coach! We've gotta talk...

I've never been one to try and grease a coach.

From my limited time as a youth hockey coach, the thing I hated the most about the gig was watching specific dads saunter over to chat it up.

And I was only an assistant coach?!

Like, you could *feel* them coming the moment you stepped out of the locker room or off the ice. They always had a opening line too, like, they weren't just there to chat about hockey -- they were overtly seeking preferential treatment for their kid.

I found it extremely awkward and uncomfortable...but will admit, I generally gave their kid more attention than they deserved for the first 5 minutes of whatever practice or game they made their move on cause I'm a pushover.

But I still see it every single day I'm at the rink.

Every day.

Every team.

Every age level.

If you're a hockey parent doing that...I suggest you stop.

Coaches hate it.

All of them.

The past four programs my kids have skated with have had that "24 hour" rule where you're not supposed to talk to the coaches for 24 hours, you know, to let the hot heads cool down first or something.

It never seems to work, though.

Hot heads rarely think rules apply to them.

Coaches are there to coach the players -- not deal with parents and their self-encompassing problems related to their own egos.

There will come a time where your relentless pestering of a coach or team manager will backfire -- and your kid will pay the consequences.

I've said it a billion times -- you and your player are a package deal.

You can't be the problem.

And you can't be the solution if your kid is the problem, either.

Just stay out of the way.

And here's the reality of it -- the coach doesn't care what you think the line combinations should be.

A good coach shouldn't, anyway...

I mean, I always preach to follow the coaching and, by and large, I've done just that.

The coaches my kids play for are guys I respect -- I'm choosing them to make my kids better hockey players based on their own hockey resumes and history of moving players upward.

If I felt the need to try to sway a coach, well, I've most definitely picked the wrong teams and coaches to play for.

Pick someone you KNOW has far more knowledge than you do.

Fine -- I've been in pro hockey for 30+ years, easy for me to say, right?

My own experience just makes me more critical when picking teams for my kids to play for, I have a little more background to go on than a "new" hockey parent so, yeah, perhaps my focus is a little narrower...but even if my kids said tomorrow, "Dad, we want to play basketball...", I'd seek a beginners team with a coach that knows more than I do...and respect his decisions on that alone!

Like, do you think a 4th line guy on the Bruins has his dad calling the coach to say he thinks he should get some PP time with Pastrnak?

No. Obviously not.

By peewee, as a hockey parent, you should follow suit. You've been around long enough to have figured it out.

Don't bully on behalf of your kid. Resist the urge. Get over it. You risk teaching your kid to be a hot head a-hole too -- ugly cycle.

There is no advantage to be gained. It's like sending a plate back at casual dining restaurant -- you're not "winning" anything. They're gonna spit in your drink. Hello? Duh?

You know better than to think you have influence over the coach. You should know better.

If your kid isn't getting the ice time or attention you think they deserve, it's one of two things.

You either picked the wrong team/coach to play for...or you're delusional about your own kid's skill level.

Let the coaches coach.

Agree? Disagree? Let me know -- I love the feedback from all angles!

Chris Rutsch

Hockey Dad

Year round, I spend a significant amount of time and money transporting my three boys to and from freezing cold ice rinks. Not because I expect them to make it to the NHL but because I know the rigorous youth hockey experience will serve them well in the future.